Reflections of Degeneration
The muscles on my back roar with pain. There is something cruel about the stripped screws holding my jaw in place like hell's Tin Man. A running icepick couldn’t suppress, couldn’t numb, couldn’t crack the spikes shooting through my neck.
“This is hell. This is hell. This is hell. I started so strong, I couldn't be stopped. But that voidwalker stopped me. It stopped my whole life. It took from me my joy. It took from me my presence of mind. I am like a wizard who may no longer know concentration. I am one of the devoted forsworn to creation. Wholly plagued by pain that would melt thousands of wills to live.
“I don’t know what I did, what sins I am tithing from another life. But this life has been a curse on my body. It has blown my psyche into shrapnel that cuts and slits at the very tendrils that move me. It has slain great paths in my neural network and left a broken body to reconnect in hopes that neuroplasticity will help me recover.”
“If it is true that nothing is “wrong” with any of us even though we feel it. How deep can our duality go? Because the volcano I am thrown down each day would make Sisyphus feel blessed. The rock I drive, the cross I bear, I don’t want to feel like a fucking victim. This agony that has knotted my soul and sought to rot it out of my very chest. I will not hear it any longer. I want that shit out of my court. I am stronger than that. But I am that. I am weak. I am all things and that is cruel. It’s a jest like a fucking joke.”
These people want a short story and all I give them are prescriptions to melancholy and questionings of hope. Where is the heart of our fucking people? Where is it? I swear I am looking for it. But how will I ever find it through all this noise? The meaning of life is said to be so short it can be written across one stone, but we have created so much complexity we no longer truly remember our nature. The feeling of being, The feeling of fucking, The feeling of being free. Our species hasn’t devolved but the reduction of consciousness in our humans is causing spiritual Atrophy. And Until Morale Improves, these beatings will continue
