4.23.Day.25
It’s my last 423 day in Chattanooga. Dwelling within it anyway. You know I’ma comeback…
My wit’s end, I have found it here. Heartache after Heartbreak. Set to the back drop of wild highs with the homies, concerts that have brought tears to my eyes. Friends that I have made for forever. They say if your sound can make it here, then your sound can make it anywhere. So I am taking my sound to Atlanta. Those who will build this cities landscape will prosper fine without me, as they have for the last year and a half. I sat up on my hill grieving. Seeing the people I only felt most safe to see. If you are one of those people and you are reading this, I love you. Like the rains love the Earth. Or the Winds gliding across seas of grass on the mountaintops. I have shown you all of me. The best and worst. It’s for you all to decide what to think and feel of me. I know what I think of myself.
Perhaps it was the circumstances and not the city that drug me into the depths of an abyss I’m clawing my way out of. Perhaps it’s all of it combined. I can’t tell if I have been robbed of my ambition or this cities walls are too small. I am looking for the unlimited, an imagination that can span the range of prehistoric time with futuristic space. I used to think this city could grow into that. In reality, it is already limitless for others, but not for me. Perhaps it’s the limit I’ve placed myself, to push me where I believe I should go and grow. It’s worth contemplating over and over. Am I somewhere I enjoy? Am I happy with the choices I have made in my life? Am I where I want to be. Yes, Yes, and No. Something in my heart compels me to leave. I don’t see in my lifetime where my forever part of this city resides. I saw an anxious future when I thought of staying here. A world where there is not enough time or resources in this microcosm to sustain all I believe life can be.
Leaving has been a hard decision. But I am not leaving you. The friends I have made. I will never leave you. I will share my success as I have always done my best to do. I am a bridge and these Chattanooga Artists, are fellow bridgebuilders. We had to step into some pitfalls to find each other, but when our souls recognized one another, I knew this city had magic. But even more deeply I understood the magic in you. Deep and Ancient. Whatever power fountain is here, it doesn’t synchronize the way I wish it would for me and my soul. Accepting universal truths and my reality is paramount to move forward. Happy 4.23.Day Chatt,
Love Forever,
Jules
